White Tantra practices are practices that you do alone to help you connect more with your body and sexual energy. Red Tantra practices are those that you do with your lover. In Tantra the vagina is called the ‘Yoni’ and the penis the ‘Lingam’. This helps us distinguish these sexual organs from their more mundane, un-sexy functions. My Tantra teacher used to day “I take my vagina to the gynaecologist, I take my ‘Yoni’ to bed!
If you would like to do some ‘pre-preparation’ for your Tantra Party so that you feel more comfortable or because you are curious try the following exercise. I recommend setting aside at least 15 minutes for it, but you can take as long as you like if you are enjoying it!
Step 1: The sacred space
Because Tantra is a meditative experience we need to begin with creating a space for ourselves in which we can concentrate, feel comfortable and forget the cares of the day. Think about when you visit a church, temple, gallery or museum. There are qualities about these spaces that help you to be reverent, calm and reflective. You will often notice that in churches they burn candles and incense. There can be music. People take off their shoes and whisper in hushed voices. Creating your own private, sacred space is an essential part of every Tantra practice. Take the time to spread out a special blanket, light a candle or incense, put on some sexy or relaxing music. Make sure the room is a comfortable temperature and make sure you won’t be interrupted (turn off your phone, lock the door). Once you have engaged int he ritual of preparing your sacred space a number of times, your body will actually begin to generate sexual energy in association with these activities alone (just like you can get sleepy just by engaging in your usual ‘going to bed’ routine).
Step 2: Become mindful of your body
Arrange yourself sitting or lying in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and begin to notice the sensations of your body. Begin noticing the skin, where the ‘you’ contacts the ‘not’ you. Notice the sensation of the air against your skin, any clothing. Notice the pressure of certain parts of your body against each other or the ground. Then take your time to pay attention inside your skin to different parts of the body. Start from your extremities (scalp, fingers, toes) and work towards your trunk. Notice the sensations, any areas of comfort or discomfort, notice any tingling or warmth – this is your bodies energy. If you contact any discomfort that you can fix (e.g. through changing your position, getting a blanket, stretching etc) give yourself the gift of doing so. This exercise is all about self pleasure, we so infrequently prioritise our own pleasure and with Tantra you will learn how to love your body and yourself through pleasure.
Step 3: Mindfulness of heart and sacral centres
Once you have begun to focus on your trunk, place one hand on your heart centre (the centre of your chest between your breasts) and the other on your sacral centre (over your pubic bone so your fingers are curled downwards covering the opening of your yoni/vagina). First focus on the heart. Notice or imagine the energy under your hand. The heart centre is often associated with the colour green so you might imagine a green light shining below your hand. You might be able to feel your heart beat, you might be able to notice heat. You might imagine a feeling of loving kindness being generated from here – it can help for you to bring to mind a memory of someone you love to connect with this feeling. Next focus your attention on your sacral area. See what you can notice there but don’t be worried if the sensations are very subtle. A lot of women report feeling ‘dead’ there and not experiencing any spontaneous energy from their sacral region, this is why so many ladies struggle with low libido! You will learn to ‘wake it up’ in the following steps.
Step 4: Breathing and PC muscle pulsing
Taking in slow deep breaths imagine that your breath is carrying the energy from your heart down to your yoni. Get into a nice rhythm with this then add a gentle squeeze of your PC muscles in rhythm with your breathing. The PC muscles are most easily described as the muscles you use to help stop the flow of urine. Just like with any other muscle, the more you exercise them, the stronger they get and the more efficiently you can pull blood and energy into the area of the body they are connected to. I often give PC muscle exercises to clients with low libido in addition to doing a white tantra practice like this.
Step 5: Pelvic rock
Once you have a good rhythm introduce some movement of your hips under you hand. Rock your pelvis or sway your hips in whatever movements feel natural and pleasurable for you. Have fun and experiment! Remember, this practice is about connection with your body, your heart and sacral energies and experiencing pleasure, not about coming to orgasm, so don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. However, if after this practice you do want to come and know how to do this for yourself please do so! Otherwise enjoy the energy you have created by stopping when you have had enough and focusing on the feelings in your body to lull you to sleep or, if it is daytime, enjoy the mellow supercharge to get on with the rest of your day!